Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
