: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
