went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize