Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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