I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
