She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
