he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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