Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
