I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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