I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
