can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
