I want to stick my p in your. b.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
