i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
