wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
