no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
