I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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