So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
