this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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