I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
