woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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