so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
