She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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