yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
