New low: just hacked my moms facebook
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
