Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My vagina is very pro this idea
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
