i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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