you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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