Welp...herpes.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
