Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
