I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
