Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
