And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
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