today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm too high and old for this...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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