bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
