If that was your dad, he is hot
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
