so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
