I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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