I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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