is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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