You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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