It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize