I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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