no. you can't hotbox the world.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just forgot I was standing up.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
