and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
