Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
