I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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