Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
