ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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