i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
