we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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