he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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