I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
