The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
