3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
