People with herpes should wear stickers.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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