Christians are straight up FREAKS
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
