You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
