i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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