Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
