yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
