Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
