I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
it was like eating out sand paper
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize