Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You are a genius and a whore.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize