i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
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