I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
