I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she woke up with a sticky ear
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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