matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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