I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
