In the future we'll all be gay
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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