I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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