Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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