Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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