Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize