He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
