she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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